Dual....:-)
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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