Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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