I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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