I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
