where am i from again
Banned from zoo.
Again?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
