I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
