There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
