but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
