Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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