You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
