We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I skipped work to stalk him.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
