This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
