So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
