Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just cut my nipple shaving
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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