I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
