Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
