I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
