i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
