I didn't shave. On purpose
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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