I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
