i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
