hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize