Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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