Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
