By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I enjoy the company of your penis
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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