My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
