My hair reeks of homosexuality.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
