Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
