i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
