There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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