i don't like sucking hair
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
