Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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