addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
