i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
