he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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