The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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