Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I look better un-naked...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
