you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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