Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
