he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She announced her abortion via fbk
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
