we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
