I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
