Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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