he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
