He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
