Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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