i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
