They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
