somebody snuck up and got me drunk
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
