We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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