he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
